How does this affect me, Al Franken?

Remember that bit from SNL back when the show was still funny instead of filthy and Franken was still a comedian instead of the Democratic nominee for a U.S. Senate seat? Well, it reminds me of parenthood, because children are every bit as narcissistic – or more, if possible – than Franken’s character in that comedy piece. Children – at least my children – are utterly lacking in empathy. They really and truly are concerned only with one thing: How does this affect ME? They may say they love us, but a dark little voice inside me often whispers that it’s really only that they love what we do for them. Either way, I’ll go right on doing it, because I love them more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being.

My neighbor (who must have recently had an experience similar to my horrendous day with the kids today) put it this way in her blog:
“The love that I feel for my children is the only love that I have ever felt that hasn’t faded over time (and I am presuming it won’t). I now know how dogs feel. You can kick them, and scream at them, and demand things from them that are outside of their very nature. Still they will sit next to you and slobber, and lick you and love you beyond all reason. I have been bitten, and screamed at, and asked to do things outside of my nature. Yet, I sit here and slobber, all love. MOM=DOG.”

She goes on to compare this masochistic, canine sort of love with romantic love, but that’s a topic I’ll address another time, because I’m just too tired now and still have to drag all the kids back to the Laundromat to pick up my cell phone that my kids left there while I was folding their sheets because my dryer broke, leaving me with three sets of wet sheets. BTW, the sheets are dirty again because my 3-year-ol dumped the laundry basket on the ground. Who could ponder the mysteries of romantic love with any sort of fairness at a time like this?

Woof.

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