On this most historic of historic days, I was going to write about something other than the landmark inauguration of the first black President of the U.S., because that’s what everyone else is doing, and I’ve been too busy being on vacation – and too internet-deprived – to keep up with all the buzz. But who am I kidding? Politics. It’s a sickness.
As expected, the Ciceronian periods flowed like milk and honey, bathing the adoring crowds in the sweet, seductive reassurance that the good ole U. S. of A. may be down but she ain’t out, that we can soldier on with Hope and Virtue and conquer anything in our path, that we don’t have to choose between our security and our ideals. Thank God. I guess that means we can still be the most bad-ass country in the world and have all the cool people in Europe like us.
Oh yeah, and that Big Government vs. Small Government thing? It’s a non-issue. Seriously. It’s not whether government is big or small, but whether it works or not. So you see, there really isn’t any point in being a Republican. Unity is the new black.
Dear God, will somebody please wake me up and tell me this whole thing has been a long, terrible, psychotic dream and that Republicans weren’t really stupid enough to pick John McCain as their standard bearer? Not that it would have mattered. As I’ve written before, Barack Chyrsostom Obama had all the right moves, and I don’t think any Republican would have stood a chance. The GOP is SOL until someone who looks and sounds like him but thinks like us appears on the scene.
Disappearing from the scene today is the man we all love to hate, the man whom we all laughed to see dodging flying footwear, the man who lied us into a war we’re now in the embarrassing position of winning. And with him goes the wheelchair-bound (oh, truly, there is a God!) evil genius behind the throne, rolling off into the sunset to continue his Machiavellian machinations in the private sector. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, [expletive deleted], sneers the swollen army of Bush haters.
And through it all, George W. Bush sat watching the ceremonies with quiet grace, appearing for all the world as though he truly wished Barack Obama well, as he said repeatedly in his last press conference. Those who hate him no doubt snorted derisively and said the gentleman didst protest too much. Call me naïve, but I believed him. I could not disagree with President Bush more profoundly on the bail-outs, and a number of other policy issues as well, but I do not share the vitriolic hatred of the man that so many even in his own party feel. I am convinced that 9/11 would not have been the end of the terrorist attacks on American soil, not by a long shot, had President Bush been less about his business. As I watched him and his wife embrace the Obamas and board the helicopter for the first leg of their journey back to Texas and post-presidential life, I couldn’t help but feel a little sad. This makes me something of a freak in Obama’s America, I realize. These days, a good, patriotic American praises not the President, but a foreigner who throws shoes at him.
President Obama closed his inaugural address with, “God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.” Amen, brother. So I’ll close this post by saying not only, God bless Barack Obama, but God bless George W. Bush, too.