I use this expression rather often and semi-ironically meaning Before Children rather than Before Christ, so instead of constantly putting (Before Children) in parentheses after I use it, I decide to give it its own post I could just link to in future and save time. Because as a mother of four and borderline OCD type, I am all about saving time, don’t you know.

I divide my life into the epochs BC and OMG (kidding!! well, sort of) because having children Changes Everything.

In the years BC, my mother-in-law used to say, mainly when she was trying to talk me into postponing childbearing, “Once you have children, your life will never be your own again. It’s finished. Over.” My sister-in-law would say, if I ever ventured an opinion on anything child-related (I was a teacher, recall, so had the temerity to think I might actually know something about kids), “You can’t possibly understand. You don’t have children.” Which hurt, since I wanted them so desperately, and was having such a damnably hard time getting them. It was only in the years since having children that I’ve come to understand how right she was. I didn’t understand. I didn’t have children.

My mother-in-law was right, too. It did change everything. My life isn’t my own anymore. But what she didn’t tell me – and what most people who make sarcastic, disparaging remarks about parenthood to the uninitiated don’t tell them – is that it changes everything for the better. Really. It’s much, much harder, but it’s also much, much richer in every way. Think about it: did you ever get anything worth having, anything you really treasured, without effort?

Comments 2

  1. Lauren Cammack wrote:

    I had my first child before most of my friends, brother, and a lot of my cousins. I did not consider myself a young mother at 27. After the first couple of friends did get pregnant, I stopped trying to tell people how much their lives were about to change. I decided there is no way you can fully explain how having children changes your life.

    Posted 12 Feb 2009 at 8:43 pm
  2. yvonne wrote:

    “Really, kids are great. I mean, your life isn’t your own anymore, and you’re so exhausted all the time you can’t even squeeze in time for your hobbies…but I swear, it’s all worth it! I mean, it has to be, right? Or else…or else…what is the meaning of my life? ITS ALL WORTH IT!!!!!….isn’t it?”

    Do you have *any* idea how desperate to convince us you sound? Methinks someone doth protest waaaaaay too much….

    Posted 10 Apr 2010 at 10:24 am

Trackbacks & Pingbacks 1

  1. From Moralia - Mad mad monarchs on 16 May 2009 at 5:01 pm

    […] neglected my blog this week, partly because I’ve been sick, and partly because, well, you know. Because I’m still too busy to write a proper post, let me just share with you a very […]

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *