Your doctor is a liar

Someone just did a keyword search for “my doctor said I had to agree to selective reduction in order for him to implant 3 embryos” and found my blog. I hope she comes back again and sees this post, because honey, this one’s for you.

This doctor is lying to his patient in the hope he can terrorize her into killing her unborn child(ren). This doctor is doing something very, very unethical. Therefore, in my not at all humble opinion, you lie to him. Tell him whatever he wants to hear so he’ll implant the embryos. Chances are, you’ll only conceive one baby. Outside chance, twins. On the very, very rare chance that all three take and you conceive triplets, they are your children, and you tell him you’re not killing any of them and find another doctor to deliver them.

Good luck and God bless. If you ever come back to my blog, please let me know what happened.

Update: This reminds me of the women I’ve heard over the years tell me that their doctors told them that they had to have amniocentesis when they were pregnant. I had all four of my children at what the obstetrical profession calls “Advanced Maternal Age” (over 35). And I never once had an amnio. I told the doctor “no thanks” and that was that. Well, that was that for the first three pregnancies, anyway, because my doctor was a fellow Catholic who respected my willingness to forego the test. The fourth pregnancy was in a different city with a different doctor who was obviously uncomfortable with my refusing the test, but since I obviously knew my rights and was adamant, there was nothing he could do. Sadly, all too many patients do not know their rights. Doctors act as though their recommendations are mandates, and patients let themselves be bullied into procedures they don’t want.

Perhaps once we have socialized medicine, and the government’s in charge of everything, doctors really will be able to force their will on patients. At the moment, however, the patient is the customer, and the customer is always right. That’s the American way. It saddens me to no end that this is may not always be the case. Please, please, please, my fellow citizens and patients, do not let it happen.

Comments 8

  1. Bev wrote:

    This is for all women, no matter what your age or circumstances. IT IS OKAY TO FIND A DOCTOR YOU LIKE AND TRUST! Please do not stick with one doctor just because you always have, or they are *the* doctor to have, or other people have good things to say. If you are uncomfortable, find a new doctor. Maybe you have to drive a little farther, but it is worth it. Just like everything else, your health needs change as you get older. I had a wonderful OB during the time I was having children. But once that part of my life was over, I found I needed a different doctor who would focus on my different needs. I was lucky to find one in the same group practice. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, in this area, pay attention to yourself.

    Posted 13 Jul 2009 at 10:58 am
  2. Anonymous wrote:

    I went through IVF to conceive my children and I lied to the doctor when I agreed to the possibility of selective reduction. He was very uncomfortable about placing three embryos and wouldn’t do it until my husband and I agreed we would reduce if all of them took. Of course we weren’t going to, but that’s our business, not his. The result was that none of the embryos took during that cycle. The second time around the doctor put in three embryos again and only one took. So much for his concern about triplets. Multiples are SUCH a rarity.

    Posted 13 Jul 2009 at 1:58 pm
  3. Brigette Russell wrote:

    Yes, they are a rarity. Most of the people I know who had their children by in vitro had multiple embryos implanted and ended up with either a single baby or a failed cycle where none took. I do have a friend who had triplets by in vitro (and of course her doctor wanted her to get rid of at least one of them) and all three were born perfectly healthy.

    Posted 13 Jul 2009 at 4:04 pm
  4. Patrick wrote:

    I love the way you just call ’em as you see ’em, Brigette. I’ll stand shoulder-to-shoulder with you in the culture wars anytime.

    Posted 16 Jul 2009 at 1:09 am
  5. Brigette Russell wrote:

    Thanks, Patrick. The culture wars need all the soldiers they can get.

    Can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to our trip to the Paragraph Farm next week!

    Posted 16 Jul 2009 at 3:35 am
  6. MIT Mommy wrote:

    It is a difficult situation. I know at least one friend who had only 3 inserted at a time, time and time again, to avoid the horrible thought of having to ‘reduce’ (figuring she COULD have three if needed). And, she continued to implant every one after that in that fashion until they were all ‘used up’ if you will. She has two perfect kids and sleeps at night.

    Posted 16 Jul 2009 at 7:47 pm
  7. Brigette Russell wrote:

    Yes, in the majority of IVF cases, sad to say, no baby is conceived. I know all too many couples who spend tens of thousands of dollars and years of hope and heartache and ended up never having a baby. I know other couples who had one or two children after many, many in vitro attempts. People see Jon & Kate and think litters of six are common, but they aren’t. I know people who had 6 or 8 embryos implanted and either didn’t conceive or had a single pregnancy.

    Posted 17 Jul 2009 at 4:02 am
  8. Bowden Russell wrote:

    I suspect the majority of “needed” IVF cases are due to the women being over 30 or 35.

    If women stopped this non-sense, there is a reason ladies that one starts menstrating at 14 and not 30, we could dramatically reduce the need for IVF and therefore needless abortions.

    Also, if you’re a Catholic, the Church preaches against said practices.

    If we didn’t have this practice going on, we wouldn’t have the problems like we have with the Octomom either.

    Posted 22 Jul 2009 at 3:56 am

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